I Can't Be in Denial Forever

So.......................

I just had lunch with Professor Marcus:) After writing my Gratitude blog, I decided to send him an e-mail to say hello. He replied right away and we ended up meeting yesterday for a lovely Key West-ish meal at Arubas in Ft. Lauderdale. I'm no longer his student so I'll call him Phil... (*giggles*). I'll call him OCMC (Oh Capatain My Captain). Actually, if you all must know, he's the reason why Maud Gonne never returned WB Yeats' love. I did extensive research on the subject and found irrefutable proof on the matter. I'm kidding! And you probably don't know what I'm talking about, but I just cracked myself up a little so just bear with me for now.

I've been pretty convinced that my purpose in this lifetime is to teach - to grow, to learn, to absorb, to challenge, and to pass it all along to as many as I can reach. I've been trying to tailor my life toward this goal for a while and I've made some progress, but I'm not fully satisfied. I need to do more!

And so yesterday, very matter of factly, Phil (*giggles*) said, "get a masters degree, and be a T.A. (Teacher's Assistant)" Huh? What? Me? Really? He has been such a wonderful guide in the past and the truth is, I can't seem to find ANYTHING that satisfies me more than sitting in a class room taking apart a character or a few lines from a poem or a just simple word...

...usurper.

I would get tons of teaching experience that way and would be on my way to getting a PhD... and although right now that sounds soooooooo incredibly difficult.... you know.... I can't ignore it any longer.

He's right. The arts - writing, reading, exploring, dancing, singing, painting, drawing - these are my PASSION. I can't deny it any longer. Well, I never denied it, but I cannot turn away from making this my career. I literary salivate every time I drive by a university campus; any university campus. I stumbled on to UCLA last time I was in L.A. and I didn't want to leave! The feeling of belonging there was overwhelming! The buildings, the students, the library and the gorgeous, never-ending green around me really lit up my eyes. I didn't quite understand why.

Well, I know now.

I always knew - I was just burying my head in the sand (as my new blogging friend, Mattie, likes to point out).

So, starting on June 25th, I'm going back to school to audit a literature course with Prof. Marcus (I tried calling him Phil... I really did!) and slowly but surely immerse myself in the only world I've ever really loved.

Wish me luck!