I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve had this surge of confidence that seems all wrapped up in heartfelt humbleness, double-dipped in this fiery need to accomplish what used to seem impossible, and sprinkled with a rather effortless ability to just take a leap of faith and see what happens.

Is it because I’m single, unattached, and free to do whatever in the world I feel like doing? Maybe… but I’m pretty sure I’d have ants in my pants if I was caring for a family of three, working full-time and trying desperately to figure out why I’m not happy.

I remember a while ago telling my little sister to really take advantage of this time in college. That this was the time to do whatever she wanted in life! I said those things with a nostalgic undertone thinking how great that must be and how much we all wish we had that chance again. And then I had a light bulb moment… literally… it lit up over my head, my eyes widened, and I said to myself, “Self,” I said, “Why can’t I do the same thing?”

A few things have happened in the last few months that are worth mentioning. First, starting this blog and knowing that you enjoy my writing means the world to me. I have twenty three readers and ten followers! Thanks you! Second, realizing my love for literature is true and honest, and that I am an academic and will do everything possible to make this my life’s work. Third, the encouragement of friends and family to follow my dreams has been incredible. I may not be doing all that I am doing if it wasn’t for them. And last but not least, the demise of many around me that unbeknownst to them has helped me tremendously to figure out what not to do, how not do it, and what kind of person I do not want to ever become.

Also, I’ve come to the rather obvious realization that being feminine does not automatically lower my IQ. I used to think that wearing dresses hindered you from being you and required you to sit a certain way and wear uncomfortable pointy shoes, and God help you if you dropped something and had to bend down to get it. In short, I used to think that being girly was being weak and you should be reading a book instead of highlighting your hair.

Part of my perception developed from low self esteem and the need to go unnoticed. I never really wanted to stand out and being six feet tall… well… that was always rather difficult. Part of it was just an adjustment from growing up in a family of humble means and not being able to afford anything more than the absolutely necessary. Most of it, however, had to do with my self-image and exhausting inability to see my own potential.

A couple of weeks ago while having coffee with Professor Marcus, he mentioned my previous blog, My Vanilla Phobia, and said, “You can’t make lemonade out of vanilla!” And by the authority vested in me by absolutely no one, I have deemed that sentence BRILLIANT. When life gives you lemons… we all know to make lemonade. But what do you do with plain vanilla… hhhmmm… like I said, BRILLIANT!

Get Confident, Stupid!