Here’s my confession: I admit to not being the best big sister as she was growing up. We’re ten years apart so when she was five, I was caught up in my own teenage angst and didn’t bother to see I had the cutest little girl wanting to just hang out with me. I missed EVERYTHING about her childhood and I hate
that. The other day she asked me if I remember when she was Posh Spice in a school play… I didn’t even know what she was talking about. I think I pretended to remember. How is that possible? How cute is a seven-year-old as a Spice Girl?Yesterday she showed me a drawing of her family that she did in kindergarten. We both had a good laugh because she included Mom, Dad, Jonathan, Michelle and herself. We don’t know any Jonathan and we don’t know a Michelle… she made them up. I wasn’t even in the picture. She made up the siblings she actually wished she had. Funny, right? Not so much. I was pretty crushed.
But the present is all we have and no use crying over spilled milk! Through thick and thin we both turned out pretty well and all we can do is look ahead. I regret a lot of my actions or lack there of, but dwelling on negativity never accomplished anything. I really do believe I have some kind of karmic contract to take care of her and always will. But in lieu of more sappiness, I’ll share the following:
Things I’ll miss
• Waking up
late, eating breakfast with very sleepy faces, and arguing with her because she never, EVER wants to do the dishes.• Watching our stories while having afternoon tea and sweets.
• Always having a back-up supply of eyeliner.
• Capt. Gilligan – what can I say, the pet monster grew on me.
• Me totally messing up her hair as she’s walking out the house all prepped up and ready to impress the boys. *evil laugh*
• Having a fashionista in the house… I need the help.
• Random thrifty shopping outings.
• Torturing her with my audio books. C’mon, who doesn’t want to listen to King Lear in my car?! Ludicrous I tell ya!
What I could’ve lived without
• My food randomly disappearing.
• My father calling to scream at me for stuff my sister did or did not do. Hhhhmm… wait, I think that’ll still happen… *sigh*
• Her twenty one-year-old friends calling me a MILF (I’m not even a mom!).
• Having canned worms in my fridge… no joke. The monster likes them.
• The awful mess in her room and bathroom – good GOD.
• All the lights turned on during the day.
Memorable moments
• The night I realized Capt. Gilligan’s lunch escaped. I had giant and I mean HUGE crickets bouncing up and down ALL over my place. My sister was conveniently missing so I had to chase them all over my house… one by one.
• The time she came home all excited to make koogle (pasta dish). She bought all the ingredients, had a great recipe her friends had given her at work, and it turned out AWFUL. It was so horrible that I couldn’t even fake it. I think it killed her cooking spirit a bit, but it was a great laugh.
• Flying grandma over to stay with us for three months.
I guess this is what it feels to have your kids move away from home. It’s an odd combination of excitement, pride, and unbelievable apprehension! Even though she's only moving a few hours away, I know this was a really hard decision for my little sister to make. We're a really tight-knit family so I'll tell her the same thing I keep telling myself through this entire process: put on your big girl panties and deal with it :) Words to live by....




























7 comments:
I am familiar with your situation. My lit'l brother and me are 16 years apart and I started out by spoiling him rotten and then when I got married kinda grew apart from him. Then within a few years we lost both parents now he feels like he is mine. I love him and miss him when he ships out. I wish he would call me every five minutes. Great post!!!
Agree with Shane - Great post! I can relate to your sis. I'm the youngest and i'm 7 years apart from my brothers (twin) and 9 years apart fr my sis. I hv very little "bonding" with them during my younger days. I can't remember if I drew anything about my family but I remember I've got reprimanded from my sis for not knowing my multiplication! whoahahaha :) My neighbors heard about the "commotion" and for a while, I was the laughing stock amongst my rascal friends. Khakakaka.
Anyway, we hv to cherish every moment and we hv to let go and move on ... like they say "Carpe Diem" !
Thank you so much boys! It was a rather hard post for me to write... bleeeehhh... I'm still struggling with the whole thing.
Shane, your little brother is lucky to have a big brother like you! We thankfully still have our parents alive and kicking, but mother is not really in the picture much.. I know this affected my little sister very deeply and she struggles with the situation. I can't be a mommy to her, but I can be the best big sister possible. Alas... I just wish I had figured this out earlier.
Durian Guy! You're the youngest? I'm sure they picked on you... I would have! My father is the youngest of 11 children so I know aaaaall the stories;) I will certainly cherish every moment and wish my little sister nothing but the very best. I'm very proud of her!
What a beautiful post! I understand completely. Being the oldest, I wasn't always there for my siblings. I always felt like my sister did fine doing her own thing and didn't need me and I got along better with my brother who is ten years younger than me. Now that we are all adults, I'm closer than ever with my sister and my brother is a little lost trying to figure out his life and I try to help him out. Don't look back, look only to the future when bonds can grow stronger.
what a beautiful post... you are always so upbeat and positive.. I wish I could borrow some of your attitude towards life.. I think your little sister is very lucky to have a big sister like you.. and oh, you two look lovely in the pic at the end..
Thank you so much Debbie:) It really is quite comforting to know that I'm not the only one who has felt like this. I guess we are never responsible for anyone else's life and I'm starting to understand that it's ok not to be all that maternal when you're a teenager... You're probably just not supposed to be. Nevertheless.... It's hard, but I appreciate more than you can imagine that you guys share your stories with me!
Rookieblogger! Thanks for visiting;)) Optimism is a learned habit... You just have to practice!
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