I had a great talk with Marty on the way over to Hartford Monday. He's been thinking about blogging for a while and I think I convinced him, but I guess we'll just have to wait. You see, Marty's ex-girlfriend is dying of cancer and he writes painfully and quite beautifully about it. He showed me a lovely poem he had scribbled on a notepad and confessed that was really not one of his best ones. I wanted to just tear it and keep it because I thought it was wonderful. Not only that, but he's lived a pretty darn interesting life and I think it'd be a shame to not share it with us. He promised to email me some poems so I could at least post them on my page.
Eventually we got to talking about life, love, BLISS, and all the things you really never discuss with folks you've just met. I mentioned that human nature is terrible and we should all aspire NOT be part of it. I've never said that before but the more I explored it, the more it made sense. No matter what you believe in - we should think higher than our physical selves. I believe we're spirits having a human experience and I know we have the intrinsic capability to step out of our bodies and the limitations of our little minds and BE better. What would a free-flowing, all-loving spirit/energy do? What kind of life would we lead without that nagging "human nature" in the way blessing us with jealousy and the incomprehensible need to drive a little faster than the car next to us?
I was less than pleasant to a hotel waitress this morning because my order was brought out wrong twice. She had worked the entire night shift and was feeling a little foggy. I should've asked her to have coffee with me and bought her some pancakes, but instead I wanted my food the way I had ordered it because I had things to get done and how many times do I have to mention I don't eat cheese. Really Cindy? REALLY? I wasn't terrible, but I could've been so much more understanding. Last week a kid at school asked me if I had a minute to discuss gay rights. I kept walking, mumbled something or other barely looking at him in the eye because I was late for work and needed to get to my car. I'm pretty certain that a thirty-second delay in my precious schedule would've been alright and maybe I could've actually done something good for a cause I'm in fact quite interested in. Signing up for an email list or honestly telling him I appreciated him standing in the hot Florida sun trying make a difference in the world would've sufficed.
So did I make a difference this week? I don't know - I think I took a giant step backwards...
Let's be something better: spirit, energy, goodness - whatever you want t call it. Drop all those menial human tendencies to want more, bigger, better, and faster. Drop the neediness, the jealousy and the resentment. I think sometimes about looking at ourselves literally from a higher place, like a bird's eye view. How would you rate yourself if you flew right above you all day watching your every move? Did you hold that door open? Did you say please and thank you? Did you inadvertently or knowingly judge someone based on the color of their skin or what they chose to wear on their bodies?
I love this quote from Paulo Coelho:"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."
"I'm working on it" has become way too common of a phrase for me. I think it's time to just be. My BFF gave me a swift reminder today that I have a long way to go (that story for another time), but I'm aware, trying, and sharing my lessons along the way.
Photo links: here, here & here :)
Hey Cindy, welcome back!
I think you should change the title to "Being Human". Don't beat yourself up, you can't be 100% perfect 100% of the time. Allow yourself to faulter once in a while and please realize that you bring so much to the lives of others.
....Oh, and please please see if you can persuade Marty to start a blog or allow you to post some of his poetry here.
In my view how well a poem falls off the tongue is secondary to what the writer feels. I'm sure what he's expressing is at once heartwrenching and honest and although it's very personal, to me it's always a privilege to have someone share real emotion like that. I'd be honoured to read it.
Onward.
You question whether you've made a difference this week. We've already established that you feel things happen for a reason, so here it is. You took something from those less-than-favourable experiences, learned from it, and have just shared it with dozens of people. What started as one attitude kept in check has just multiplied many times over.
You've taken a bad situation and turned it into something positive and constructive. How can that be wrong?
:)
there is nothing for you to work on you are already there. being aware is the only thing you can do in order to make the changes that you see fit. if you were unaware you would be oblivious and not have the desire to learn change and grow. when you see your actions not matching up with what you feel is right for you only you can make the proper adjustments so you are projecting yourself clearly in how you want to be viewed.
Hiii Barryyyyy:) I know you can't be perfect all the time but I
just rather annoyed that I still fall for my own cheap tricks. I'm not doing anyone any good by reacting impulsively to thing... I have to think higher, better, and way more lovingly. And I hope Marty shows up as well!
Thanks Matty McMattierson... I hear ya... I just want to prevent these situations instead of looking back and thinking I should've known better.
This post reminds me of Socrates' saying "The unexamined life is not worth living." With that said though, life, it seems to me, is all about working on it, getting better, realizing you aren't perfect and finding the things you can do better. Even the small stuff can be improved. Being human is all we can do, the trick isn't to be less human but trying to be a better human.
I know I fall short all too often and I find myself, as one friend told me, over-analyzing and over-thinking my life and actions. For me, that is something I need to work on to be better. For each person the circumstances of life dictate who you are and what you should and can work on.
All that to say: GREAT POST!!!!
So true. You've definitely given me something to think about it.
Oh yeah, and furthermore.... (I do like to go on about these things, don't I?) :)
The fact that it bothers you so much shows that it's not the person you truly are. If you were flippant, or not aware of it as Matt and Mike alluded to, it would be cause for concern.
You're a very driven person. I think you expect a lot from others, but much more from yourself. So give yourself a break sweetie, you're definitely on the right track.
We can be our own worst enemy sometimes.
Wow. This was so good and very thought provoking. Thank you for it.
You know sometimes when you read something and you have to give yourself a mental forehead slap....this was that moment for me.
Thank you for writing, I needed to read this today!
I like that quote Mike:) I'm not sure that being human is all we can be... I really think we can be WAY better without that limitation. Glad you're thinking about this as well!
CC - it's food for thoughts minus the calories. I'm thinking: yummy!
Thank you Barry - very sweet things to say. I don't care for breaks... I'll rest later. I'm a procrastinator anyway. I'll procrastinate on giving myself a break. Ha! Man I'm smart.
Glad you like it Court! I guess I get philosophical when I travel.
Zoe BELIEVE me - I had a MAJOR doh! moment right after writing this. I know it, I write it, and I still fall in my own traps. Well, all we can do is keep on trying...
I always try to carry myself in a loving, caring manner. I always try to think before I speak and try to help those who need helping. It is easy to become complacent when it comes to generosity and kindness. A lot of times it is easy to take advantage of the willing so we all have to be mindful and remember that everyone has a story. Humility is something we all could take a lesson in time and again. As for helping. You helped everyone by calling our attention to something that is all too often overlooked.