Today I had a meeting with a potential client. On the way there I decided to stop by the drugstore and pick up cough syrup for obvious reasons. Because I was rushing and clinically impatient, I quickly swallowed two big gulps when I got in my car while scanning through some of the directions. What’s the big deal anyway, kids drink this, right? I just need this contract signed and don’t want to cough all over this lady. I made a pit stop at Dunkin Donuts and grabbed me some cafesito and a bagel with a little bit of butter and jelly – I didn’t eat breakfast at home.

I got to South Beach in one piece, found a great parking stop and strolled along Lincoln Road till I found the Starbucks right by Washington Avenue. I felt a little funny, but nothing too bad considering I’ve been bed-ridden for seven days. *oooohhh’s and aaawwww’s please*

Whew... she's not here yet. I might as well order something.

And then it hit me -->I WAS DIZZY. One minute I was fine and the next I was dizzy like it was Friday night and I’ve been shooting a few tequila rounds while sipping on cheap wine and flirting with the bartender. I was so, incredibly dizzy, I could barely focus on reading the Starbucks drink menu. And why was I reading the menu anyway? I always end up ordering a boring iced passion tea anyway.

I held on to that Starbucks counter with a sad smirk on my face, eventually I got my tea, and sat down in complete disbelief wondering why I don't really think this is funny. I reached into my purse and pulled out the cough syrup (I didn’t want it boiling in my car): two teaspoons… it was only supposed to be two, very tiny teaspoons. I peeled the label off the bottle and realized my seemingly harmless gulps actually consumed HALF of the entire bottle. That’s on top of the antibiotic dosage and the cough pills I had taken in the middle of night. Definitely not funny.

Lady Client strolls in (late, thank goodness) and she’s babbling at ten thousand miles per hour sounding an awful like Charlie Brown’s teacher: whaa-whaa-whaa-whaa-whaa…Her storage unit flooded, her apartment was sold, she needs to move, she’s got so much to do, thank you for being here, I can’t believe my car is all wet with stuff but thank god is a rental and whaa-whaa-whaa-whaa…

Eventually we got down to business and I BARELY held it together. My eyes must’ve been googley, I'm blinking more than humanly possible, and I’m shaking my head up and down like “uhuh… uhuh” waaaay too much. I’m trying to concentrate on what she’s saying while wondering if I should confess I’m so high I’m about to float right up this seat. I opted for not saying much and agreeing with everything she said. Hey, at least I'm not coughing.

“Any questions?” She asked at the end.
"Yes. Do YOU lock up your medicine cabinet? This stuff is AWESOME!"

That… would NOT have been funny.

Okay maybe a little.

(Ugh. What a morning.)

{photos via weheartit}

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