My friend let me borrow an old book he found somewhere... Sheldon's 20th Century Etiquette published in 1901. Yes, 19zerofreaking1.

Please... allow me to share some excerpts (a word I can barely pronounce by the way... I avoid it like the plague):

GALLANTRY VERSUS COQUETRY 

 "A true gentleman will always do homage to a woman, if for other reason than that she is the Mother of the Race, and deserves in the main all the chivalry of his nature" 

Oh, women shouldn't think, vote, study, or know much of anything. But don't forget the homage.

"The true gentleman will make no advances which he does not feel - he will whisper no vows that he does not intend keeping."

Ahem... boysssss?

"The true woman...[will not] cast her net for promiscuous victims, only to mock their sufferings when her cruel pleasure is ended."

Oh yeah... that.

HOSPITALITY 

"Always provide a bathroom for the invited guests, even if the members of the family have to perform their ablutions in the kitchen tubs during the extent of her visit."

Excuse me?

BEHAVIOR IN PUBLIC 

"It is by outward appearances that we are first enabled to differentiate between the intelligent and ignorant... we judge from his exterior...where he ranks in the mental, moral, financial and social status, and it is our first impression of him which assists us in forming an estimate of his character."

 Has anything changed much?

"What others think of you, not what you think of yourself, is the index of your position, and that they should think well of you is perhaps the first end in life which you should strive to accomplish."

*speechless*

"In passing, always turn to the right. This is a good rule to follow throughout life's whole pathway."

Turn to the left and God help us all. 

RULES FOR TRAVELERS

"if a stranger speaks to you, answer him politely. It is time enough to discontinue the conversation when he has proved himself undesirable"

Why didn't anyone tell me this?!

"Do not tell your private affairs to those whom you meet... you are pretty sure to bore them.

Yeah...

"A gentleman should never escort a lady through the public entrance to a hotel... [she] should be taken through the private entrance and left in the parlor."

He BETTER be paying.

ETIQUETTE OF INTRODUCTIONS

"Persons who meet at the house of a mutual friend and are not introduced, should never bow or recognize each other when they meet elsewhere."

This may come in handy.


"Never introduce two people, unless you know that it is their desire to become acquainted."

I should remind my friends of this!

POLITE CONVERSATION

"Do not volunteer advice and when it is requested, give it sparingly. When a person asks your advice, he usually conceals half of the facts, and consequently places your judgment at a disadvantage."

Sheldon, you're pretty much RIGHT on the money on that one.

"Do not talk of things that are not interesting to others."

Unless you're a blogger... then go ahead.

"Because you are well-related, you need not be constantly referring to the fact. ... Do not affect and be what you are not. Nothing is so offensive as artificiality of manner."

Yes... everyone in South Beach... name dropping has been frowned upon since before you got your fake tan and discovered hair gel.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

"Keep good company or none. You can always have books if you cannot have people."

Amen, my friend!

How times have changed, huh? Or have they...????

HhhhhhMmmmmmmmmm.................

(pics via vi.sualize.us)

20th Century Etiquette