Have I told you how absolutely sweet my dad is with his new girlfriend, Martha? Oh Em Gee. They're adorable. I cannot possibly pat myself in the back any more for this set up... they're practically living together, she packs him lunch in the mornings, they're planning trips together and I have to tell you... it's breaking me down. The HORROR! It's freaking breaking me dooooown.
In honor of this much unexpected side effect, I have put together a list of ab.so.lute.ly must-haves in a relationship... because if Jarrod can make a list, then by God so can I:
You must be kind, you must be witty, very sweet and very pretty - okay that's from Mary Poppins, but I think we all agree on the basics of attraction.
And speaking of attraction, if Javier Bardem declares his love for me, you accept your defeat and get on your way. Such is life.
Have patience with my flaws and don't be a walking time bomb of emotions. Remind me to face the fears and not sweep them under the rug. I will return the favor.
Be the change you want to see in the world. An absolute must. Such a HUGE incredibly important notion that cannot, for ANY reason be ignored. Be good. Really, really good and teach others the same.
Learn about EVERYTHING. That covers that.
It also helps if you have good friends. I'm always suspicious of people who haven't taken the time to foster good relationships. I can't think of a good excuse.
Also, how shall we say... Have your sh*t together. I guess this encompasses everything from some form of a job or hobby to correctly pairing your socks after they dry. The latter, of course, being of paramount importance - orphan socks will NOT be tolerated.
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. - I have two friends who are dating and they call themselves jerk and b*tch day in and day out. They do it jokingly in casual conversation, and they do it a lot. A LOT. But you, dear, wouldn't think of doing such a thing.
If you want this job position, have a cheery disposition - What can I say, M. Poppins is so cute! And you should be too!
Must have some sort of clue where this is from: "Noooooo... I don't go... I stay.... we need more Lemon Pledge."
Unfortunately, as an amazon woman, size does matter. I'm 6 feet tall and you know... you can't be looking up at me ALL the time.
Tip well and be nice to the serving staff, don't drive like a maniac, and be good to animals even if you aren't necessarily fond of the critters. Refusing to comply has been actually extensively documented as traits of abusive personalities (except for the tipping thing... then you're just cheap) - I'd hate to think you'll turn on me somehow and I will, without a qualm in the world, kick you so hard in the nuts you'll wonder why yo momma ever gave you any.
Aaaaaanypoo, why don't you just fill in the blank: The meaning and purpose of my life is __________________. If you can't, then we cannot be. No, that's harsh... who am I to judge that way? Let's just say you should be searching or at LEAST open to the suggestion.
If Scarlett Johansson declares her love for me, you should accept your defeat and get on your way. Such is life. (Will send pics. Ha!)
Insecurities, jealousy, and all that other stuff we pretend doesn't exists the first few weeks we date should be kept in check... forever. Talking goes a long way and don't tell yourself stories that never existed. Remember, it's usually what we know about ourselves that makes us irrationally upset.
No Stage 5 Clingers.
And last but not least... must have that intangible, sumthin-sumthin' that makes me go WOWZA *sigh*
Hhhhmmmm...I've never thought of these things so this is a fun little exercise for yours truly:) See? I can make lists too. Blame it on my Dad and Martha. Their insufferable cuteness is softening me up. Nooooooooooooooooooooo....
[all pics via vi.sualize.us]
Archive for April 2010
Hiya...
I don't have much to say, but I feel like writing. Today I was pretty annoyed by people. I had yet another reminder that good intentions aren't enough to get goodness back. I'm pretty tired of putting myself out there and having to beg for help when I need it. And mind you, I will NOT throw the first stone for I KNOW I'm not perfect. The difference is, I don't walk around boasting plastic, meaningless two-dollar trophies that say otherwise. But I do know that I've helped... a lot. Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on ME.
Next time I'll listen to my friends and family who were very quick to remind me... they told me so.
Michelle wrote a post on sweetmangoLOVE and it really got me thinking about how seriously we take ourselves...
Some sillier than others!
We stay inside when there's plenty of hanging out to do
We are taught to follow silly rules
And forgot how much fun it is to just goof off!
We concentrate on what we don't have
And live in senseless fear
S0mewhere along the line, the fairy tales lost their fairy dust
And we stopped believing in magic
We convinced ourselves that we weren't born absolutely perfect
So let's work on regaining that innocence... and maybe, just maybe, we'll quit complicating things that are really quite simple...
RUN!!!!!
Hello World... I'm sunburned. For the first time in YEARS my skin is red, achy and very sensitive. I. HATE. THIS. This cannot be good for me. Or anyone. Ever. UGH. UUUGGGHHHH! I figured I didn't want to get to Chile pasty white so I went to the beach and tanned. Correction... BURRRRRNED. Charred. Cindy-Jerky will soon be available for a modest price. Tasty!
So I had to push my trip to Chile to May 5th. I found out I had to move by the end of the month. As a result of this not-so-pleasant news, I'm currently right smack in the middle of packing, organizing, disorganizing, throwing away, and stressing about every detail. I thought I had found an apartment in a great area close to where I live now, but you know the saying... when it's looks too good to be true... Anyhoo, it turned out that the owner of this new place wasn't really allowed to rent his condo yet so he was trying to pull a fast one on the association. Thank goodness, I figured it all out before schlepping all my stuff over there. That would've been tragic.
The good news is that I found another super, duper cute place and will be moving this Sunday with the help of all who dare carry everything up the stairs - no elevators in the new building. And when I say new, I mean new to me because it was actually built in 1924! How cool is that? You see, there isn't a lot of history in South Florida and although I'm giving up the new appliances and fancy washrooms... I absolutely fell in LOVE with this place:
Cute, right? I love the floors AND it has a "sun room" attached to the bedroom where I can put my computer, dresser and miscellaneous stuff. It really is charming! Plus, one nice guy owns the entire building and I don't have to deal with silly rules and crabby association presidents who have nothing better to do than patrol the laundry room and make sure you clean the lint filter after every load. I can't wait to be settled in!
So the truck is confirmed, Vanessa is getting me a dolly, my daddy has another one, boxes are everywhere and I'm hoping for the best! *fingers crossed*
April 23rd was Vanessa's 30th birthday, by the way. Because I'm in the middle of a personal MESS, I really wasn't able to celebrate much with her. I know she understands, but I do wish we could've gone to Key West as previously planned... Bleh... When I come back, I'm going to try my darnest to make it happen. Unfortunately, we're all BROKE ASSES right now as well... With my trip, the move, school, and work slowing down... well... I'm not splurging on fancy eye make-up or cage-free eggs.
I love you amiguita! Happy dirrrrty 30s!!!!And speaking of friends, check out Janet's new Bollywood "how-to" series at www.tvlesson.com/janeturibe. I'm so proud!
That's Martha's daughter, by the way. And Martha is my daddy's main squeeze... hehehehe.... It was our idea to hook our parents up and as you all know... they're blissssssssssssssssssssssfully in luuuuuvvvvvv... with a sprinkle of healthy lust and a dash of dreaminess in their eyes that melts my heart. To be honest, seeing them reminds me that happily-ever-after may not just be a fairy tale:)
Did I just say that?I KNOW! I'm feeling all sappy! That's how CUTE they are!
I've lost about 7 lbs in the past week... stress REALLY affects my appetite. But no worries! I've truly enjoyed eating my way up the scale. Hellooooooo pasta! Because I'm a bit of a control freak (or a lot), I'm uberly (is that a word? It should be) concerned about my upcoming grad school schedule and how I'm going to work events while reading all day and writing a thesis. It's the usual fear of the unknown that turns my stomach and keeps me up at night. But today is all we have and I might as well just roll with the punches. I've ALWAYS been taken care of and this is where faith comes in... I'm following my bliss babbbyyyyy and noooooo one said it'd be easy!
Now if I could only know for sure... *sigh* :)
So I'm searching for a new place and replied to an ad on craigslist. I wanted to post this as a warning and reminder that we need to be very careful in all aspects of our lives. Just because we are good and positive doesn't mean we're free from harm! Remember NEVER to give out your private banking info, send a check or money order to someone you've never met (unless it's me... that's okay of course), and the one we always miss: if it's too good to be true....
This was the [abridged] response to my inquiry:
Thanks for your mail, The house is a large 4br - 4 br / 2 ba / 2,078 sqft / Single-Family Home, Which was occupied by me and my family before we left for Nigeria (West Africa) due to my transfer from Work with the (WHO) World Health Organization . The WHO is directing and coordinating authority for health within the United Nations system.
We wanted to sell the house initially but we later changed our mind after we discovered that we wouldn't be spending more than 5 years here in Nigeria. we are looking for a well-behaved, clean and honest tenant to rent out our apartment too. So will like you to give us your word and promise us that you will take good care of our house. We accept both short and long-term rent and either month to month or a year lease.
So kindly get back to us with the rentals application form so we can proceed.
Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can have it in my file incase of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you.Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the key to you,please we are giving you all this base on trust and again i will want you to stick to your words,you know that,we do not see yet and only putting everything into Gods hand,so please do not let us down in this our property and God bless you more as you do this.
Note: The Monthly Rent is $1,200 And the security Deposit is $800.
Trained Pets are welcome..
Looking forward to hear from you
Best Regard
Greg Mark
markgreg74@yahoo.com
our cell phone #: 0112347089447838 or +2347089447838
Remember what goes around comes around buddy. Good luck when it aaaaall comes back to ya... |
Warning: The following post is rather nerdy. Enter at your own risk.
We've been talking lots of androgyny in Prof. Marcus' Hemingway's class. That of course, meaning a mixture of feminine and masculine traits or lack of either sex. I've never dwelled (dwelt?) much on the subject and I'm not sure I've thought it all through, but I'm interested in sharing and see what you think.
I'm working on Hemingway's The Garden of Eden which goes against all the macho images we have of the author: big and hairy and standing on a boat holding the biggest fish ever seen and damn proud of it. Oh, and he was rather stinky... quite known for it too! But I digress.... 
So why write a story like The Garden about a woman who cuts her hair short and begins to play sexual role reversals with her husband? Hhhhhmmm.... suspicious!
What really caught my attention was the following excerpt Prof. Marcus shared with us from Virginia Woolf's "A Room of One's Own": The normal and comfortable state of being is that when the two live in harmony together, spiritually cooperating. If one is a man, still the woman part of the brain must have effect; and a woman also must have intercourse with the man in her. Coleridge perhaps meant this when he said that a great mind is androgynous. It is when this fusion takes place that the mind is fully fertilised and uses all its faculties. ... The androgynous mind is resonant and porous; ... it transmits emotion without impediment; ... it is naturally creative, incandescent and undivided.
So the wheels are turning and I have to tell you: I ABSOLUTELY agree. I don't think you can be complete in any way without an androgynous mind. It defies all logic, the yin and the yang, the animus and anima, Cher and Sonny Bono, and who knows what else! (The latter being of course irrefutable proof of this theory.) In a simple Jungian way, Prof. Marcus explained that it's imperative we develop this in order to achieve individuation or completeness and reconciliation of the conscious and unconscious.What?! So much pyschobabble! I'm confusing myself. But anymus, the basic principle being that we must embrace the masculine and feminine in every one of us. The honest triple wholehearted truth with a juicy cherry on top is that all of my really great guy friends are VERY in tune with their X chromosome. (Some would argue that we all begin as female with two Xs... but most would agree we're neutral in the womb for a while before developing our nether regions... but I digress... AGAIN.) And of course, my girlfriends exhibit plenty of masculinity in their own lip-gloss-wearing daily lives.
So what do we do with all of this? I don't even know if I made much sense, but it's a juicy topic worth of much more than a short entry on my page. I really want to think about this. What about babies born with both sexes and the parents choosing one at birth? Does that just condition you to be one way or the other? What about feeling like you're seriously in the wrong body? I can't even begin to pretend to understand the pain and confusion that could create. (I know that is all well beyond the scope of this entry....)The androgynous mind.... undivided... let me marinate on this some more. So much we don't know, huh? And how incredibly powerful is all of this coming from Hemingway!? I love it when a story has nothing to do with the actual words on a page, but everything between the lines instead.
I love literature.
I'm just one hell of a lucky X chromosome.
{all pics via vi.sualize.com}
That's right. I just bought my ticket so on April 27th I will be shooing off to the Motha-land for a month! I'm so excited that I just can't hide it! I'll get to see grandma and help her out as much as possible. I'll get to see the uncles, aunts and cousins that I haven't seen in almost 10 years. Plus, it'd be GREAT to volunteer in the earthquake relief efforts, even if it's just for a few days somehow. I'm contacting the Red Cross to see what I can do.
And of course I need to just STOP eating now so I can get there sickly thin and let grams fatten me up with her awesome lentils, chicken stews and a serious array of breads and sweets.
Hide the women and the children! La Gigante is coming to town:)))) 
The Ugly Truth is playing in the background. I got it on netflix and so far it's pretty funny! But I've always liked romantic comedies and this one meets all the cute-boys-quirky-girls-dirty-jokes requirements.
On that note, I figure I should tell you that lately I've been asked out on dates a few times. I've never actually made out for one reason or the other but I guess it's nice to know I'm attractive to the opposite sex! Or the same sex... it is Miami after all. I'm always flattered when anyone compliments me - man, woman, or a very intricate mixture of the two. Hello diversity! I wouldn't have any other way!
I met one guy at a whisky tasting that was... what I like to call... yummy. So, he walked away with my business card and decided to email me the next day:
"What u doin?"
Hhhhmmm... I thought okay, let me tell him I'm exhausted after a VERY long week and enjoying a lazy day at home. So he says:
"Let's chill."
I told him to call me tomorrow so we could plan a rendezvous. The next day I got another email:
"Hey..."
Really... "Hey"???? So by now I'm wondering why he doesn't just call me or even text. I don't reply. One hour later I get another email:
"Soooooo..."
Would anyone like to explain why this character never, ever picked up the phone? On Saturday I got a text from him saying:
"Is this better than email?"
You know what's better than email???? A PHONE CALL. I guess I'm just an old-fashion gal and although I was quite impressed with his intricate written rhetoric, I realized rather quickly this wasn't my witty, intelligent, funny, amazing ex-boyfriend-to-be. Note to self: pretty gets boring way quicker than anticipated.
But wait, I actually have super duper amazing news!!!! My dad hit it off with my friend's mom and I am happy to report they are now deeply and crazy in love. IN LOVE!!! No really, my father - my responsible, serious father - got home at 8 AM from his date last week: 8 AM!!!! When was the last time I got home after 3?!?!?!? I'm ecstatic, thrilled, ebullient!!! He said to me that if he had to wait 55 years to meet the woman of his dreams, then it was all well worth it. I don't think I'm ever going to forget that:)
Nighty night. Be back soon. XOXO
This is one of my best friend's blogs. And it's not because I've known him for over five years (2 of which were only through myspace... not realizing we lived about a block away from each other), but because he really is one of smartest, nicest, funniest, and overall coolest boys I know. So there... shameless plug indeed!
PS - This is us...
... DRUNK.
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