"Well Cindy, since for whatever reason I just can't figure you out, I'm going to tell you my secrets...."
Didn't I tell you in my last post that human nature never ceases to amaze me? He seemed so "normal" and was so charming! Reminded me of Dexter... you know, the mass murdering psychopath from the HBO series?
I met him on a late weekend outing in Santiago last month. I had taken the subway to meet my cousins out for a drink - warm vodka with gingerale. The water in South America is my kryptonite. We ended up at a nightclub on the main city avenue. We had been there once before and had a great time so why not tonight? I'm only here for a weeks so we might as well enjoy every minute.
I noticed this one guy wanting to say hello and trying to get close. Eventually he spoke to my cousin who naively came over and introduced him to me. He was cute... average looking, but nice and awfully witty. That combo always gets me. He was 28 and for all practical purposes so was I! The usual flirty questions were asked, we danced and laughed and I kept trying to dodge his attempts to lock lips although I kinda wanted to...
As the night turned to dawn, I realized he really, really just wanted a fling. Being on vacation in a strange city on a random night, I admit it wasn't out of the question, but there was something not quite right about this guy. When he realized the deal was just not going to be sealed, we went and got something to eat (almost in defeat!) - full, 5-star restaurant open at 6AM... go figure.
Then I got the lowdown on how he lies his way into anyone's bed and how he "preps" them from the moment he says "hola..." I got 3 very distinct "prepping moves" meant to sucker you into a make-believe world and personality that never existed. I was baffled, a little nervous, but too curious to stop now. Then I was told exactly how each kind of woman is "worked" - the single mom, the divorcee, the lonely office girl, the traveler and on and on.......
I wanted to run out of there and couldn't! It was so incredibly surreal. I'll never forget the look on his face when he told me that "the secret to it all is to never, EVER, give a sh*t about anyone's feelings." He smiled and I saw exactly why his mother used to tell him he was brightness on the outside and pure darkness within. I think for a second I saw and felt him to the core....
I wasn't completely immune to the game... I wanted to believe him I really did! It was all so sweet and exhilarating! The music, the drinks, the people... Although I preach that everyone is guilty until proven innocent... *sigh* Nothing like the anonymity of a strange city to make you feel invincible.
As the night turned to dawn, I realized he really, really just wanted a fling. Being on vacation in a strange city on a random night, I admit it wasn't out of the question, but there was something not quite right about this guy. When he realized the deal was just not going to be sealed, we went and got something to eat (almost in defeat!) - full, 5-star restaurant open at 6AM... go figure.
Then I got the lowdown on how he lies his way into anyone's bed and how he "preps" them from the moment he says "hola..." I got 3 very distinct "prepping moves" meant to sucker you into a make-believe world and personality that never existed. I was baffled, a little nervous, but too curious to stop now. Then I was told exactly how each kind of woman is "worked" - the single mom, the divorcee, the lonely office girl, the traveler and on and on.......
I wanted to run out of there and couldn't! It was so incredibly surreal. I'll never forget the look on his face when he told me that "the secret to it all is to never, EVER, give a sh*t about anyone's feelings." He smiled and I saw exactly why his mother used to tell him he was brightness on the outside and pure darkness within. I think for a second I saw and felt him to the core....
I wasn't completely immune to the game... I wanted to believe him I really did! It was all so sweet and exhilarating! The music, the drinks, the people... Although I preach that everyone is guilty until proven innocent... *sigh* Nothing like the anonymity of a strange city to make you feel invincible.
Pics via vi.sualize.us
Think you'd make the same decision again?
Which one... to not run, to not kiss him... to stay and chat... who knows... maybe? I'm tempted to find him again and keep chatting. I do, however, value my life and rather not! I think this is the kind of guy that may run you over with his rather extravagant Audi and just keep on going...
Interesting question though... why do you ask?
"I kept trying to dodge his attempts to lock lips although I kinda wanted to..."
"I realized he really, really just wanted a fling. Being on vacation in a strange city on a random night, I admit it wasn't out of the question."
"I wasn't completely immune to the game... It was all so sweet and exhilarating!...Nothing like the anonymity of a strange city to make you feel invincible."
I'm wondering if you ever second-guess the way you dealt with him, whether 'what-ifs' run through your mind had you stayed and waded more deeply into those waters.
Why do I ask? I'm insatiably curious about such things!
Aaaawww I see... Yes. I wondered if a quick fling with such a character would be... worth it? It was already a kind of crazy night and then I thought hhhmmm someone who doesn't care at all about anyone's feelings is probably NOT the best lover.
I think I made the right choice. I'm pretty sure he wasn't a pleaser if you know what I mean!
You did make the right choice. He saw you as little more than a conquest, it's always nice to see guys like that get shot down.
I think so... it was interesting though. I'm not sure what that says about ME, but I was completely into every word he was saying. I've never met anyone like that... a complete psychopath - no feeling, no regard for anyone, no attachments, NEVER had a relationship in his life. He can't form emotional bonds. Anyway... good times in the motherland!!!!
Being into what this guy was saying, and buying into it are two very different things. What does this say of you? That you're intrigued by people, especially those whose life experiences are so far removed from your own. It's a healthy approach to life I feel because it expands our understanding of others. We don't have to possess sociopathic tendencies to take interest in those who do.
This guy's treatment of women may be reprehensible, but sharing his
'secrets' with you was a gift. How many men would do that? It never
happens, and you may find it gives you a little more behind-the-scenes insight for the next time someone tries to run game on you.
Increasingly I've been drawn towards people's dark sides; the deeper and more shadowy the better. I think there's an undeniable allure to certain people that invites us in, even when we recognize the dangers. Like a dark chasm that begs us to look over its edge. In this I've found some of life's most delicious and memorable moments.
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Health, luck and love!